Ask Hawkins B.A.: Alligator Arm Wrestling

Ask Hawkins B.A.
Welcome again to the advice column where each week I answer questions on absolutely any topic. ANY TOPIC! Simply submit it via email, smail, or pigeon (preferably house trained.)

This week's question comes from Mike R., who writes: I've heard of alligator wrestling, but is there any such thing as people armwrestling alligators? And if so, would Slyvester Stallone's character from Over the Top be able to beat a gator in such a contest?

I have heard anecdotal evidence that alligator armwrestling occurs, but it is not nearly as widespread or organized as competitive alligator wrestling and arm wrestling federations. If such a matchup were to take place, Lincoln Hawk (Stallone) would fairly easily beat even the best of armwrestling gators. Alligators are handicapped by the stubbiness of their arms, though their claws would hamper Stallone at least a little bit. --Hawkins B.A.