So you just now realized that you have to buy gifts for Christmas, and nothing's open. What do you do? Go to Walgreens--they're just about the only thing open. They have a wide range of gifts, from practical gifts like plungers to holiday gifts like christmas decorations (most likely already on clearance!) to expensive gifts like digital cameras. You can't go wrong going to Walgreens on Christmas day. It is their busiest day afterall.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, and Happy Kwanzaa everyone! I hope I've been of some help, and be sure to check back next year when we reprint the same gift ideas again, possibly with different wording.
 | I have a lot of money to spend on this person Everybody loves Scrabble, especially grandma. This brand new edition is made of nice materials, thus making it more expensive and nice looking. Estimated Price: $99.99 |
 | I'm broke Everybody loves Scrabble. Grab this edition on the cheap from Goodwill (you can pick it up while you're getting your gamer friend one too) and Grandma may even appreciate the fact that she doesn't have to come up with 'q' or 'x' words since those tiles are missing. Estimated price: $2.50 |
 | No, really, I'm broke Google "2-letter words Scrabble" and print off the list for her. It'll improve her game and she may finally beat Gertrude. Estimated cost: Almost Free |
 | I've got a lot of money to spend on this person He may say he's attached to the club he already has, what with all the mammoth kills and domestic disputes it's gotten him through, but present him with this upgraded model and he'll be tossing aside the old one faster than you can drag a cavewoman through the firepit. Estimated Price: $950.00 |
 | I'm broke This cookbook by Von Hoffenboaer is amazing. No where else can you find recipes for such tantalizingly crisp and delicate club sandwiches which melt upon contact with the palette. Estimated price: $19.99 |
 | No, really, I'm broke Buy a can of spray paint and decorate one of his walls. You'll be contributing towards his evolutionary appreciation of aestetics, and sprucing up that drab cave he calls home at the same time. Estimated cost: $1.29 |
 | I've got a lot of money to spend on this person Buy your pool boy a pool table. He will [pretend to} think that your pun is hilarious as he hustles all his friends and friend's friends out of their hard earned pool scrubbing cash. Estimated Price: $8,000.00 |
 | I'm broke You're broke, and you can still afford to employ a pool boy? Sounds like you're just cheap to me. Splurge on a gold plated pool skimmer or he'll pee in your pool. Estimated price: $39.99 |
| No, really, I'm broke Take the pool skimmer he's already using, and spray paint it with gold paint. The paint will most likely flake off into your pool, but at least you saved some cash. Estimated cost: $1.29 |
 | I've got a lot of money to spend on this person Atari created the greatest gaming machine of all time in this, the Atari 2600. Grab one of these babies and 230 games and the gamer on your list will love you. Estimated Price: $250.00 |
| I'm broke Everybody loves Scrabble. Get this vintage piece of Americana at any yard sale or Goodwill. Your friend may not even notice that a third of the letter tiles are missing. Estimated price: $2.50 |
 | No, really, I'm broke Get a job at a games/toy store, and "accidentally" unpack one of the Wiis off the truck and into your backpack. This is the only way you'll get your hands on one of these since you were too stupid to preorder one. Estimated price: Free, barring cost of legal representation in the event of your arrest |
 | I've got a lot of money to spend on this person Give that exercise fiend a gift you know he or she will use while training for the marathon: an iPod. This model is tiny and lightweight, holds 240 songs, and can additionally be used to hang their speedos up on a clothesline. Estimated Price: $79.99 |
 | I'm broke Not a whole lot to spend on the granola eater on your list? Go for a jumprope. They get to pretend to be Rocky, you get to pay the electric bill. Estimated price: $7.99 |
 | No, really, I'm broke That broke huh? Go for the pPod. It's a tasty, natural snack for the post-workout cool down. But make sure it's organic; it'll matter to them. Estimated price: $0.15 |
 | I've got a lot of money to spend on this person Want to drive your woman wild this holiday? Go with a car. Every kiss may begin with Kaye, but you'll be getting way more than that* if she sees a red-bowed Lexus in the driveway. Estimated price: $40,000 with bow. |
 | I'm broke If you don't have a whole lot to spend this holiday on the woman you're to spend the rest of your marriage with, buy a bow to put on the car she already has. Prices range from pretty cheap at Walgreens, to moderately expensive for the real deal Lexus dealer bow. Estimated price: $1.99 - $150.00 |
 | No, really, I'm broke Do the dishes for a change, and wrap the one with the least amount of dried food crud still stuck to it. She'll love the thought. Estimated price: Close to Free. |
 | I've got a lot of money to spend on this person No, you don't. Spending a lot of money on a stalker is wrong. Even during the holidays. |
 | I'm broke This former New York Times bestseller by Greg Behrendt is a good choice for those with less to spend. Estimated price: $19.99 |
 | No, really, I'm broke Buy a picture frame at the Dollar Store, photocopy your restraining order, and frame it. Cheap reminder of how much you care. Estimated price: $1.10 |
 | I've got a lot of money to spend on this person Do you have a friend who always seems lonely, and always says no one pays any attention to him or her? Getting your friend an Escort for the night is the perfect holiday gift. The representative that I spoke to on the phone was a bit vague about pricing, but from what I understand you should be prepared to spend a lot of money to rent one of these. The representative assured me that it would be worth it though. Estimated price: Anywhere from $100-$5,500, depending on what options you select. |
 | I'm broke If you can't afford the Escort, go with a stuffed bear. It's a classic gift which will give that lonely friend of yours a special reminder that you would hug them if you were there. Estimated price: $6.99 |
 | No, really, I'm broke If you really don't have any cash, call up your lonely, ignored friend's cable company using their phone and request the Al Jazeera English language news channel. This will skyrocket your friend up the government watch list and will assure him that someone out there does care and think about him. Estimated price: Free |
 | I've got a lot of money to spend on this person Beard Enthusiast International is the way to go for holiday gifts for the Father-in-law this year. The gold membership gets him a 5 year, 60 issue subscription of this publication, which will delight him with its in-depth articles and full-color photos. Also included in the gold membership is an exclusive, limited edition beard comb, made of the finest imported plastics. Estimated Price: $149.95. |
 | I'm broke The Silver membership to Beard Enthusiast International includes a year subscription of 12 issues. Estimated Price: $19.95. |
 | No, really, I'm broke A single issue of this fabulous magazine will run you about $3.95, and rings in the holidays with a resounding "better than no gift at all." Estimated Price: $3.95 |
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 | I've got a lot of money to spend on this person $2,100 will get you a roundtrip ticket to Iceland to pick up one of these cute, easy to catch little pets. You may be able to find them in other locations on the North Atlantic seaboard, but Iceland is your best bet, as 60% of the puffin population lives there. Don't make the mistake of scooping up a penguin--that present is so last Christmas. Estimated Price: $2,100 for plane ticket, plus expenses. |
 | I'm broke Chickens, as I've stated many times before, are the ideal pet. Who wouldn't want a pet that is intelligent, beautiful, and digestible? Easily acquired at any local farm, or even through mail order. Estimated Price: $3.00 |
 | No, really, I'm broke Nothing says you care this holiday season like homemade coupons entitling that special someone to come over anytime and watch documentaries of animals ripping the flesh off of other animals on your fuzzy PBS station. Not only does this present cost next to nothing, they may even offer to buy you a better antenna. Estimated Price: Free |
