Ask Hawkins B.A.: Baby Names

Ask Hawkins B.A. Welcome again to the advice column where each week I answer questions on absolutely any topic. ANY TOPIC! Simply submit it via email or USPS. Carrier pigeons are no longer accepted. This week's question comes from Jesse in New Mexico who writes: My wife recently became pregnant, and I was wondering if you could help with choosing a baby name since 'Hey!' we're new at this. She became pregnant as the result of an alien abduction and we are expecting in February. You don't give me a whole lot to work with here, but I will do my best. It would have been helpful to know from which portion of the universe the genetic father hails (you certainly wouldn't want to give a traditionally Creguxian name to a xxPiuninian-human hybrid, now would you?) but we can work around that. Nearly all alien names are devoid of vowels and not capitalized, but many can be anglicized to fit your needs. Some of the more popular ones across the universe for girls are pptthxxc (or Pipthaxxica) and hhllg (or Hellegna) and for boys trrxx (or Terraxx) and qwrx (or Qwerix). It is safer to stick with names like these since they transcend alien cultural boundaries. --Hawkins B.A.

Save This Page