Holiday Gift Giving Guide 2007

Hi, and welcome back to another year of holiday gift giving.

First of all I'd like to thank God who created Al Gore, and Al Gore who created the internet, which makes this all possible, and without which you'd be reading a shoddily photocopied version of this guide distributed by a small army of street people. I'd also like to thank the wise men for inventing holiday gift giving, and Santa for taking it up a notch.

This guide's first week will be devoted to preparation for the most important day of the year, Black Friday (this Friday.) First note of preparation: Set your alarm clock for 4:30 tomorrow morning, and every morning this week. Every morning you must wake and dress immediately (no snooze buttons or showers!), drive to the mall by 4:45, and sit. You must, after all, be prepared! Preparation is key! It's the Girl Scouts motto! How do you think they sell so many of those damn cookies? They sit in front of retailers day after day!

The weeks after will follow a format familar to returning readers, and tell you exactly what you should get to delight everyone on your list, regardless of the size of your diamond encrusted moneyclip/wallet/spare-change-securing string. And check back every day this week of course to hone your shopping skills for the big day.

This guide is dedicated to the memory of Antonio. Evaporation is forever, but so are the memories*.

*Assuming I don't get Alzheimer's. Or die.




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